Broken hearts, Bad days, and Sore muscles

Well this week has taken me on a rollercoaster ride.  After an amazing weekend at home with my parents, I returned refreshed and eager to take on the mess at home and at work.  Little did I know what the week had in store for me.

Work kicked off with a couple emails that just made me sick.  Not gonna get into details, but let’s just say there was nothing constructive about the criticism I received.  And now I’m walking on eggshells every day.  Threatening someone’s job is not a motivator, unless you want a fearful office.  But all that went out the window shortly after getting home.

Defective parts - Broken hearts - NARA - 535072

Defective parts - Broken hearts - NARA - 535072 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you read my last blog, you know that my love life is a constant mess, and that soap opera drama seems to follow me.  Despite my best efforts to be laid back and relaxed, emotional people and crazy drama just happens.  Recently I had my heart broken, and it’s no one’s fault or someone being mean or hurtful.  Simply put, I had stronger feelings than they did and thankfully they didn’t string me along.  But the pain of that hasn’t healed, regardless of my best efforts to pretend it has.

This week, I tried a little too hard to ignore it, and it ended up biting me in the ass.  It’s hard to be happy sometimes.  Oh sure you smile, and your life could be much worse, and you tell yourself this.  But sometimes you just want to have a pity party and feel sorry for yourself.  And by Friday I was in full pity party mode.  What made the week and that so awful was that the one person I wanted to talk to about everything I was feeling, was the one friend I couldn’t talk to.

Flower and leaves of Lantana camara Français :...

Flower and leaves of Lantana camara Français : Fleurs et feuilles de Thé de gambie (Lantana camara) Português: Flores e folhas de Lantana camara (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So now that I’ve said everything and nothing about the week, I guess I should update you on my running.  Today, I’m nursing a sore IT Band, and the oh so fun headache that I just seem to get after every long distance run.  I had a gluten attack Saturday morning, so I had to cut my run early, and run the rest of the difference today.  Then today I got shat on by some small animal in a tree… reluctant to say it was a bird, because of what it looked like.  And apparently Lantana can cause contact dermatitis.  I used a leaf to clean off.  So my throat closed up and I broke out in hives on my arm.

All in all an awesome day, that is getting better.  No really, I am starting to feel better and I’m sitting at the wine shop with a great breeze and some good friends.  Sucking down crazy amounts of Powerade and water, before I let my self drink.  Which I really just need to avoid, but hey when in Rome

I’m feeling optimistic about the week ahead, but know that I need to focus on some things at home.  The laundry has gotten crazy and the kitchen needs a good top to bottom scrub.  But I feel better about my schedule this week.  And if all else fails, I can focus on my trip to DC this weekend to run my first 5K!

Hearts will heel, tomorrow is another day, and epsom salts are cheap.

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Off The Deep End

Have you heard that I have gone off the deep end again? I’m training to run a marathon!

Every 5 minutes someone new is diagnosed with a blood cancer.  This is why I have committed to run the San Diego Rock N Roll Marathon on June 3rd.  I am busy training with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training.  My goal is to raise $5000 to help stop leukemia, lymphoma Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives.

My grandmother Virginia Barbee taught me many things in life but most importantly she taught me to give to others and to strive for excellence.  My grandfather Jack Bishop showed me that a charitable life is a full life, and that any goal I want I can achieve.  It is for them and for some other very important people who are still fighting that I am preparing to run 26.2 miles.

Everyone who has lost this battle and everyone who continues to fight this battle has a story and a family who loves them.  Their courage and faith drive me to continue my fight for a cure in hopes that no one else will have to lose a loved one.  A financial contribution in   support of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society would be greatly appreciated.  All donations are tax-deductible. You can visit my personal webpage to donate and to keep track of my training and fundraising:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/nc/rnr12/suebaby

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.  ~Dr. Seuss

The poetry of running

Fun runners taking part in the 2006 Bristol Ha...

Image via Wikipedia

Well back in January, I started training for a marathon.  No I’m not one of those crazy runners who are just addicted and wear the skinny leggings… but I’m on my way.  I have tried several times over the past 2 years to train and run a distance run.  First a 5K, then a half marathon, then I spent a year with injuries.  Now I’m going whole hog and training for a full.  But I’m not alone in this.  I’ve signed up with Team In Training to raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  I watched my mother train for 2 marathons that she completed so I know it can be done.

The question now is will I be able to survive all of this.  Yesterday for a good part of my run, I thought I might have to give it up.  Muscles were hurting in places I didn’t know could hurt.  My body felt like absolute lead.  But then I got in the last 2 miles, back in a neighborhood, all by myself.  Now this is not because I’m an awesome runner.  Far from it, in fact.  I’m running in intervals of 3 and 3.  So I run for 3 minutes and walk for 3 minutes.  I keep an okay pace, but not great and Saturday it was way off.  I’m also usually the only one in my group training for the Full so in the next few weeks I’ll be running about 2 miles further than they will.
English: Mailboxes in Italy Italiano: Cassette...

Image via Wikipedia

So here I was with only 2 people behind me and 2 miles to go, hating my body.  And then something happened… Yeah not a runners high so much as an odd epiphany.  I realized why I was so miserable.  I had stopped listening to my music it was now just noise in my ear.  I was looking at trees and mailboxes as goalposts to stop running at.  My muscles were aching but I hadn’t noticed how even my breathing had become or that my legs just kept pulling me along.  I was missing the point of running and more importantly the point of doing this with Team in Training.

So I changed my playlist, and found a salsa mix to give me a real rhythm to run to.  I focused on the beat of my feet hitting the pavement.  I looked at the yards and the houses and the gardens.  Most importantly, I thought about my grandfather and my grandmother who I am running for.  And then I thought about our mission moment and the family waiting at Duke to hear about their child.  And suddenly I didn’t hurt anymore, and I ran longer, and I breathed better.
See I think Team in Training is about more than getting in shape to run a marathon.  It’s about giving purpose to your endeavor.  There are lots of running groups out there, but here is one that inspires your soul.
To donate to the cause please visit my fundraising website at http://pages.teamintraining.org/nc/rnr12/suebaby